The bikini-ready detox: earn your body’s forgiveness in two weeks

Published on The Vagenda: By Dr Goodweather (as imagined by Adam Bannister)

Tinnitus, twitches, hiccups, itches, pins and needles, in-growing toenails, self-loathing, the vague, uneasy feeling that you’ve left the oven on and cancer are all classic symptoms of toxins in your body. Even if you suffer none of these afflictions, summer is on the horizon and I’d hazard that your weakness for chocolate cake, double lattes and sauvignon blanc has left you bloated and bikini-shy.

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